Meditation

Another day isolated from the chaos that has consumed the galaxy, sitting here meditating.  I am a Jedi Knight in name only at this point, I have passed my trials without even breaking a sweat. But because of an "Anomaly in the Force" I have been told that further assessment and evaluation is required and therefore while considered a Jedi Knight, I am not allowed to follow my former Master to the front lines of the war as he and the other Jedi fight the Separatists.

I await the councils blessing to join the fight or their judgment that I am fit only to work the fields or if they think I will change sides it will be worse, a date with the rumored Force Stripping Crystal. A crystal that will do as its name says:  remove my ability to use the Force. I would then be kicked out of the Jedi order to fend for myself.

My only real companion is Squeaker, an R6 Astromech that I built from scrap parts brought back from the damaged Jedi fighters and other battlefield debris. The Masters here preach to me about attachment every chance they get and tell me that I must abandon my attachment to Squeaker but they stop bothering me for short periods of time when I mention that no one seems to have an issue with Master Kenobi's Apprentice and his R2 unit that he fawns over constantly.

My meditations today are no different than the meditations I have had for the last year, I feel the cold embrace of the dark side as it searches for me. As before, it has a familiarity. Almost as if I have lost something and it is trying desperately to find me so that it can return where it belongs. I fight the urge to snap out of my meditation as I try to search for the source of this darkness. The most disconcerting part of this is the familiar feeling that it gives me, almost as if I were looking into a mirror.

What does it all mean?